The Daze

just home from drive to charlotte. stayed an extra bit, ostensibly to finish the homestudy in a wifi coffee shop of some sort. gps is not working (though the helpful folks at garmin are fixing thru mail for free, those sweeties), so the wifi was a must if i was going to get home (or heaven forbid i could buy a gas station streetmap of charlotte and just do it raw). no coffee shop presented itself directly. was looking for a starbucks (you can always trust a chain to be consistent). found none. it dawned on me that there are ritzy and non-ritzy chain stores, and that i had wandered to that plebian non-starbucks part of town. finally found 'wired coffee espress.' had a thought as i was walking in that, were this an episode of 'the office,' i would find it funny if the character playing me discovered that there was no wifi inside, despite the store's hinting moniker. there would be hilariously irritable banter about the name being pun-ridden but not really pun-ridden at all if the shop didn't make good on the 'wired' part. but turns out they had wifi.

there's nothing i can eat at a coffee shop. i'm not eating gluten and don't drink coffee. i just buy something because i feel bad taking up space otherwise. i got a vanilla italian creme soda, which turns out is full of half & half. i drank one of the halves. instead of finishing the homestudy, i checked email: $10 tickets to anthony hamilton if i buy them today; someone wants to meet me on WAYN.com; update on the new website server migration. battery low. sugar daze. kids assembling for some kind of hip youth group meeting. creme soda to trashcan, back in car. somehow, 3 1/2 hours had passed since i left the family meeting.

the hazy daze fully entered. the 5:30pm, hot, translucent, salivary flux-liquid that oozes over head and faculties and allows no wilful task to be completed, was upon. drove to cramerton, all the way into its 'lovely historic downtown'. under a few bridges. sat in parking lot. changed mind about charming detour. turned round. looked for hwy 321, still routed on googlemaps from when i was wired. squinted to look at street names. swerved. saw signs for I-85 and opted for instead. when there's a sign that says "TO I-85", you can't trust it to mean that I-85 is anywhere within 10 miles of you.

in the maze, found a jack-in-the-box chain . they have sourdough bread (you can always trust a chain to be consistent), and i can eat that (somehow the sourdough enzyme breaks down the gluten... yada yada). plus, breakfast sandwiches served all day. they had the most hilarious banner! "Treat yourself to something special. Not a massage or anything, just what's on the menu." people my age have taken over the advertising business.

made it home. here, i can rely on wifi because i pay dearly for it on a monthly basis. voila: a blog entry.

Singles

8:17am - up early to drive to Charlotte for a meeting (one of my a-few-hours-a-month jobs; I do homestudies of families applying to adopt children who are in the custody of Dept. of Social Services). Put on big-girl clothes, kind of. I can never decide. Really I just opted out of anything torn.

Dreamt about singer/songwriter Dar Williams and her song "What do you Hear in these Sounds?". I'd like to meet her (I did briefly once last year when Sid played just before her at Bele Chere fest in Asheville, but we didn't get to talk - that's what I'd want to do - just spend an evening, with some wine).

Mixed 3 new singles yesterday w/ Jeff Knorr at Collapseable Studio/A'ville. He's got great ears for a mix; knows where to put all the sounds. I'm designing new website and the dreamy Chad Pry is going to make it function. Then the singles will be downloadable on a pay-what-you-want basis.

Hot in the house. Too hot to really plug in. Looking forward to the van ride, which is air-conditioned and ipod-ready.

Today: focus.

I did not journal today.

I go to a sewing class on Thursday mornings. It's part of a thing I call "Friend College", where I looked up some continuing ed classes thru the local community college and circled the ones I wanted to take, then emailed a bunch of friends who I thought might have the time to see if they wanted to take any of the classes with me. And several did, so I'm seeing my 3-class schedule as a time to hang out with friends I don't always run into while learning some actual skills. So there was a snow delay today (I do think I saw a flake skimmering across the road) and one of my schoolmates called just after I woke up, asking me if I wanted to meet for breakfast before class. I said 'yes' without hesitation. Friend College rocks, even (and certainly because) of the spontaneous ditching opportunities, one of which I knew would happen this morning because there was clearly not enough time to complete a breakfast outing and get to class on time, even with the delay. Only downside: I did not journal this morning. I always do. Like Peter Gabriel says in that sweet sweet song "In Your Eyes," "It keeps me awake and alive." Hanging out with this particular friend tends to do same. But that's a different story. She doesn't perform the mundanely critical tasks of plugging my left brain to my right, serving up a meticulously detailed schedule for the day, or sitting patiently while I write several times in a row "I don't feel like writing today. I don't feel like writing today. I don't feel like writing today." Actually, I suspect that she might. She's a superb friend. But I wouldn't think of treating her to that narcissistic party over breakfast. Long story short, amidst the serendipity I neglected to hold the narcissistic party at all today. So I feel kind of crazy. Not crazy like "waaaaaaah" but crazy like I just don't know what to do with myself any given second... like I have no focus or purpose. I commit to journaling all days.

Upsides: Fabulous breakfast, reminder of fabulous friend. Cook kissed me on the head. Female cook. Sweetie-pie. Will repeat these upsides any day. And journal later.

Mermaid or Whale? Reposted from my friend Erica Brown

From my friend Erica:

Recently in a large city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?" A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern,
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them ... where is IT? Therefore, they don't have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

P..S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, good grief, look how smart I am!